Our site over the last couple of years has continued to increase in traffic, this tells me that more and more people are heading online to find out more about the mystery that is the “Needy Man”. From the comments we recieve its not woman seeking a needy man, they are normally trying to figure out how to get rid of them!
I was at a friends for dinner last night, as the pork ribs grilled and we sipped away on our beer we were talking about the needymen.com website. My friend asked a very interesting question… Surely some women out there like needy men?
Although there is no doubt the world is full of interesting and different people my research in the past has shown me that this is not generally the case at all. There may be a handful of domineering women out there that want to rule and cast fear into the heart of a weak whining male however this is certainly not the norm.
My research (countless hours of reading surveys and articles) regarding these very issues shows that the majority of women tend to be looking for and being attracted to these top 5 core traits in a man.
No mention of emotional men that show their insecurities or act feminine. Thats what their girlfriends are for chaps. Man was not put on this earth to whine, cry and express their feelings.
You don’t have to agree with this of course, and I am sure there are many exceptions however this is what we have found so far. We look forward to hearing your contributions.
If you are in the situation of living with a needy person you are in for an interesting time. The highs and lows of your daily life may be governed in some respects by the state of mind of the insecure person that you are living with.
It’s not all bad though, I think in some ways it is normal for a women to have some dependability upon a man. I would imagine that this goes back to caveman times when it was the job of the man to protect and take care of his family.
What’s not ok at all is for a man to be emotionally needy towards a women. Not in my opinion anyway, if you are in this situation then it’s probably not going to work out in a positive way unless the both of you enjoy living like that.
Women love a challenge that is a fact, and there is not much challenging about a whimpering shell of a man blubbering away on the sofa – that is not healthy for any couple or relationship.
So I guess its important to mention (as we have alluded to above) women can get away with quite a bit more needy type behaviour than your average fellow. Girls – don’t overdo it though believe it or not guys do enjoy a challenge at times as well!
We love hearing your war stories about needy behaviour and life living with a needy person so please share via a comment on this page!
Once you overcome your past neediness the world truely is your oyster. However what you need to realize is that now that you have overcome these issues there is a different life ahead that is waiting you.
The world awaiting you is one that you would have never imagined. Sometimes the very things you think you desire can be the things that haunt you for eternity!
Remember this, if you have ever pined for, yearned and been needy to someone of the opposite sex, this could also happen in reverse to you and you may find yourself on the other end of the neediness spectrum.
It is hard to know how to act, remember how it felt when you were that needy person? How should you now act that the tables are turned? Sometimes the more your exert your emotional strength and power the more needy you make that poor person as they struggle with insecurity and emotional weakness.
One thing is sure though, neediness and clinginess are very unattractive traits, so one can only hope that as time passes so will these feelings fade in your partner.
You know that it is possible to change, however does it take a different relationship to make that happen?
Neediness is like a sickness, or some say like being intoxicated. You may say things you regret the next day, you may treat people in a way that you know isn’t right, you probably are disgusted about the way you are thinking and acting, but don’t worry.. one thing is for sure you are certainly not alone!!!
The thing you are perhaps asking yourself is can you easily fix this, and you are in luck. Yes you can but it’s going to take some work and persistence from you. As well as a never say die attitude and willingness to change not only your behaviour but your life.
If you are a man I would suggest you start by reading this article – How to stop being needy. Its a pretty good quick fix-it for those guys that just need a short, sharp wake up call.
For more information about Needy Woman check out our Needy Girls article.
If you are still struggling to get to terms with things, here is a quick 5 step suggestion box on ways not to feel needy.
Confidence in yourself - Even if its not real or natural at first, at least pretend to be confident!
Silence is key – Don’t text, don’t call and don’t email. If the other guy or girl wants to be with you or talk to you they will get in touch.
Think before you talk – Similar to the last suggestion. Before you blurt out whatever is on your mind think about it and if it sounds anything even related to being needy just trash it.
Weakness is not attractive – Not really a suggestion just something to keep in mind. Challenges, strength and confidence are the things that people find attractive. Not whining, whinging weakness. So remember that as you follow the path.
Rome wasn’t built in a day – Good things take time, start by beginning to change your actions and your mindset. Continue to be strong, confident and good things will start to come your way believe me, but remember it does take time.
Please feel free to share your stories with us here at needmen.com, we are always ready to listen and to help!
The road to mastery is a tough one. If you have struggled in the past with neediness and after making changes in your life had some success unfortunately the toughest tests may still remain. It can be an epic battle of power vs need when situations arise that call upon that underlying needy behaviour to arise however, if you can stick to the basic principles learned in How to Deal with Woman, you will be able to get through these tough and trying times.
You may have even been going well for weeks or months and then are faced with a situation where you are tempted to speak up, or point something out that is part of your needy and insecure emotional make up.
Well unless you want to be back to square one DONT DO IT. Instead stick to your guns, portray the new man that you have become – Strong, secure, confident and in control – these are the things that a woman seeks, not a whimpering, pathetic, sobbing wreck of a human.
Once your new habits become the only way you act, you will behold a transformation that you will have to pinch yourself to believe. It all hinges on being able to control your emotions, let logic overpower feelings and stick to the new path that you have chosen to follow. The rewards will be fantastic as you regain control of your relationships and take a positive step forward in your life.