needy-man

Needy Men Are On The Increase – And These Are The Reasons Why

It is surprising that needy men are on the rise.

Men have traditionally been know as hard working and independent creatures but in recent times some of them have turned out to be extremely emotionally needy.

Though it is hard to imagine why a woman would accommodate a needy man, some of them are lured by the men into relationships under what you could call “false pretences”.

They fall in love only to find themselves stuck in a place where they didn’t ever dream they would be – stuck with an emotional needy man.

Why needy men are on the rise

There are many factors that have prompted the rise of needy men; some of these include

  • Gender equality, and the increasing influence of women on society and decision-making positions
  • No longer being needed as much has had this surprising side effect – women don’t necessarily need men to provide for them anymore as they can now make the same income as men
  • More accepting society – In some countries there would be no such thing as a needy man, but the western world, along with the new age guy have made it this way

To sum it up – needy men are on the rise because the society has eroded such social norms.

Signs of a needy man

Being with a needy partner can become emotionally exhausting, hence it’s important to look out for signs of neediness before you get into a relationship.

How to tell if he is needy or not is not always easy but it’s possible if you look out for a few clues.

One of the signs of a needy partner is the fact that he misses you all the time.

Even when you’ve been apart for a few minutes he sends you messages and phone calls that he can’t stand being away from you and he needs you.

This may be nice at first but over time it can become quite annoying.

Sometimes you may even think to yourself “get a life buddy”!

Needy men normally try to rush things along. They want to get into a relationship after even as few as 2 dates, they want to marry you right away, and they basically don’t want to wait for the relationship to develop.

They want to seal the deal and lock you down as quickly as they can.

Needy men want to be in every part of your life; they’ll often add you on every social network, they’ll comment on all your photos, they may change their Facebook status to “In a relationship” even though that’s not officially the case, and they will always want to talk to you.

They basically suffocate you and do not give you room to interact with others.

Another sign of how to tell if he is needy or not is if a man gives constant ultimatums.

Clingy men will often give you ultimatums such as “It’s either your friends or me”.

They don’t want anything to come between you and them, because they want you all to themselves.

You may also notice that these kind of men don’t have friends anymore because their world revolves around you.

A needy man may also enjoy arguing with you as it may make you feel inferior, which in his mind means that you need him just as he needs you.

He’ll often ask for reassurance of whether you still love him and want to be with him.

He’s generally an insecure man even if you’ve been dating for a while.

There are other signs of how to tell if he is needy or not, but the ones listed above are the main ones.

Whether you’re looking for or trying to avoid, a needy man, the signs above should be able to help you.

needy guys

Needy Guys… Are You One?

Needy guys are everywhere, are you one on them? If you don’t know, keep reading this article as I put forward some sure fire ways to tell if you fall within this category.

Additionally, if you are a female, these tips will help you to quickly diagnose a needy guy and be able to do the necessaries based on your personal preference.

Let’s go

Can’t live without significant other:

Do you keep telling your lady that you can’t live without her and that if she leaves you will harm yourself etc. yup, you guessed it, you are needy.

If you just met each other and you find yourself already assigning names to your future children or planning the wedding day, have no doubt, you are either a hopeless crazy romantic or very needy, and my bet is on the latter.

You ditch your friends for her and request that she does the same:

This is a sure sign that something is wrong.

The girl that you date should not have any restrictions of such nature put on her.

You may think it just means that you want her all to yourself and although in certain circumstances this may be attractive, in most it clearly identifies you as clingy and very needy.

You want to do everything for her:

Now for most ladies, cooking and cleaning for that special guy in her life is acceptable.

However, if the fellow can never do anything for himself, they will be on their guard.

If you call her every time you need a meal cooked or every time you need an item of clothing washed etc. and you are not lame or otherwise physically challenged, then you are highlighting yourself as a problem – she will know she has got a needy man on your hands and there’s no disputing that.

You call her 24/7:

If every time her phone rings you are on the other line just wanting to talk to her, she will know that there’s a strong probability that you are quite needy.

If you talk to her and as soon as she hangs up you are calling back because you have no one else but her to talk to, then you have a problem that spells need.

At the end of the day, you need to communicate with each other, but if this communication is affecting your daily productivity levels, you need to nip it in the bud.

You want to rush things:

If you just meet and already you are wanting to accelerate the relationship, this is a warning sign that she will be telling her friends about (and Googling), and they will be telling her to steer well clear!

If you find yourself instantly wanting her to move in with her after two or so dates, or if you want to get married right away, or introduce yourself to her family, you will be triggering alarm bells all over the place – this is desperate and needy behavior.

The Verdict

There are many ways to identify a needy guy, five of which have been listed above.

Guys, do you fall in this category?

Ladies, do you have a needy man?

The verdict is in.

insecure-guy

Am I Needy – Or Just A Bit Insecure?

Such a great question – Am I Needy? It is usually expected that if there is to be anyone in a relationship to be defined as needy, it would be the female.

Well if you think that is bad enough, imagine the male being the one who is needy!

But regardless of the sex of the needy partner, there is just nothing cute about this behavior and it needs to be corrected for the sake of the relationship.

What is “Needy”?

A needy partner is a sign of insecurity; this article will seek to highlight some traits of a needy partner and how to tackle them.

While a needy female partner might be a sign of insecurity, I am sure you watch the movies and know that this can sometimes be borderline for something else, such as a mental issue.

Likewise, a needy male partner might suggest control issues and might also lead to physical abuse and greater harm to come.

This might also be the borderline of something mental.

However, it could simply be a sign of insecurity and dependence, especially if the partner was a spoilt only child or similar birth order definitions to include a middle child.

The age of the person might also impact the clingy behaviour as maturity level might also be an issue.

Seperation Anxiety

Among the signs of a needy partner includes separation anxiety.

If you feel the need to call and text your partner ever so often, once separated; whether for a short period or for everyday life events like work, regardless of the fact that you know that his or her work requires undivided attention (or not) and you have absolutely nothing to talk about, then you have a problem!

This behaviour suggests that you are experiencing some sort of separation anxiety, are insecure or simply dependent. It also speaks volume about your social and family life.

Control Freak

Additionally, if you grow a coronary if your partner makes a miniscule decision without consulting you, to include changing his or her Facebook relationship status for whatever reason or purchasing a new pair of pants or a purse, then you are showing signs of insecurity and dependence.

This could also be a sign of control issue, especially if the money being spent has absolutely nothing to do with you.

This could also work the other way around if you are the one giving the partner money to spend, thereby needing to have control over how, why and what they purchase.

Needless to say, any combination of this behavior is also a warning sign.

Social Insecurity

Finally, if you feel the need to come between your partner and his or her friends’ social life and feel they no longer need to ‘hang out’ or have boys/girls night out because the time is better spent with you, then there is absolutely nothing sexy about this…and you are clingy and annoying.

Additionally, if you feel you can be your partner’s ‘jack of all trades’ where social and family life is concerned, to include secretary, mother, best friend, father and personal assistant, this is also an annoying sign of you being needy and having borderline personality issues.

If you are confident that the problem can be addressed without professional help, then try to look around and see what others are doing and try relaxing a bit.

If however, it is difficult for you to do and your partner is starting to complain or pull away, maybe it is time for you to call the counselors. Good luck.

being-clingy

Help Me! – I Am Needy

In every community, there are those people that become over possessive in relationships. They may be doing this without knowing. They only come to face reality when things have gone overboard.

It is good to get advice on how to maintain your relationship before it turns sour.

The following signs reveal that you are becoming a needy girlfriend:

  1. You will find yourself needing to be in touch with your boyfriend all the time you are free
  2. Calling him other names other than his real name. Some girlfriends find it hard to acknowledge their boyfriends with their names
  3. Accepting everything he says. An overbearing girlfriend nomally says yes to everything he says even if it will hurt her. She does not share her opinions
  4. Doing everything for him. A needy girlfriend may do all the household chores for him just to make him happy. She may forget her needs primarily focusing on his
  5. Wanting to spend just about all her time with him. A needy girlfriend likes being close to her boyfriend ALL the time
  6. Thinking about him all the time. When your thoughts are revolving around him all the time, then you are a needy girlfriend
  7. Taking his friends to be your closest friends. This happens when you start chatting with his friends and getting to know much of him through his friends
  8. Trying to be part of his family before marriage. This comes as a result of you wanting to know everybody in his family

A needy boyfriend will potray the following behaviors:

  1. He may be always communicating to you through the phone. He may be telling you how he has missed you even if you were together some few days ago. He may be sweet talking you all the time
  2. He wants to move things quickly. He wants to get married before knowing the other partner well
  3. He wants to know what you think of him all the time. He wants to know whether you still love him or not
  4. He may start doing everything for you. He may start paying your rent and doing shopping for you before you know each other well
  5. He may be interrogating your friends just to know more about you

All is not lost though – you can solve the issue of being a needy girlfriend or boyfriend by taking actions such as these:

  • Being firm with what you say you will do
  • Reducing the number of times you text or call your partner
  • Calling him or her with their proper names and reducing the amount of time together

You can also get many more tips in our popular article How To Stop Being Needy!

needy husband

Is My Husband Needy? Easy Signs That Will Spell It Out

Maintaining a happy marriage takes work, and that’s normal, no matter what all those “happy ever after” stories say. But if your needy husband is draining you of energy and focus, you may start to feel like no matter how much you put into the relationship, it will never be enough for him.

Often, we seek out friends to get feedback on relationship snags, but many wives will be afraid of seeming to be impossible to please by calling their husbands needy. After all, who doesn’t like an attentive partner? This is however, not what women living with needy companions experience, so lets go over some traits of the overbearing partner.

Your husband needs constant reassurance of your love. If you spend time with friends or relatives, he guilt’s you with unfair accusations that you favor them over him. He seems to want attention at the worse times for you. You notice situations like him interrupting your phone call to ask a question he could have asked afterwards, or pressuring you for couple’s activities when you’re busy. The needy husband has trouble sharing his romantic partner with anyone or anything.

You may find that your cellphone has started to irritate you. At the beep of a call or text message, you know it might be your husband interrupting your day with a question, or call for reassurance. If you don’t respond immediately, he doesn’t have any patience to let you do it at your pace, and will contact you even more often to track down where you are, and what you are doing.

Overall, his actions leave you emotionally spent. You have little energy to devote to yourself or your interests, because your husband always seems to be draining every second of your free time. This is how you can best distinguish an attentive husband from a needy husband. Someone who pays attention to your needs helps you feel more relaxed, but someone who constantly calls upon you to take care of their needs makes you stressed and exhausted.

This isn’t the recipe for a healthy relationship, but it doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed, either. You can help your partnership by helping your needy husband move past the behaviors that hurt his connections with you, and other people in his life.

You will need to help him realize that the actions he takes may be full of good intentions (in his mind, it is very likely he only sees it as expressions of love) are actually draining you. Pick the situations you feel are the most harmful to you, and communicate them very clearly, no matter how obvious they may seem. Boundaries are the foundation of a healthy, loving partnership. Practice self care by asking him to give you space – again be clear, like saying you’d like an hour to read your book uninterrupted.

If he seems unable to improve his patterns, you can look up resources together that can explain his behavior, and ease him into the many available solutions for his problem. From self help to marital counseling, a happy marriage is often just a little bit of work away.

draining-picture

People Who Drain You – 3 Simple Ways To Spot Them

Contentment is the jewel of human existence. But there are people who are not content with themselves and are in constant search for satisfaction and approval for themselves. When other people text them, call them, ask them out they think they’re worthy. If they forget, they’ll lose their own self-worth.

Nourishment of their life comes from external sources. This discontentment & longing when present in men and woman is what turns them into a “Needy Boyfriend” or “Needy Girlfriend”.

People, who drain you, will always be in constant demand for your attention. Are you draining the other person involved in your relationship? It is easy to figure out from one’s behavior to know whether you’re on the receiving end, or putting the drain on someone else.

Three telling signs of needy,demanding and draining boyfriends/girlfriends:

  1. Space: He/She never gives you space. They always wants you to either text or call regardless of the circumstances that you’re in. They never want you to hang-up that phone!
  2. Emotional Quotient: These kinds of needy people have a high emotional quotient. They will be either too sad or too excited, they may never be balanced in conversation or in life. They always want the other person to be missing them or craving for them. If not, they will become discontent and create a scene out of it.
    The other person will always wonder, what is wrong with them? How much do they need from me? How many times will we have the same conversation over and over again? Is there any limit to it?
  3. Materialistic Demands: They’ll be high on their materialistic demands. Always making plans for their next shopping spree that they have to do with you. Always comparing you with others. As they’re always emotionally low, they will always have affection demands ie a constant need for hugs, kisses etc which can, at times, annoy the other partner

If you’re that person with the above personality traits, then you’re draining the person you’re involved with. You’re totally consuming them, occupying them and evaporating the love which you both once had. Here are a couple of tips to rectify the situation and stop being that clingy person before it’s too late..

Love vs. Possessiveness
True love is pure & undemanding. When you start putting your own set of expectations on love and the way you want to govern it, you shut the other person off from expressing & being themselves. Let them be and respect their individuality. When love becomes possessiveness it pollutes the heart.

Self Esteem & Contentment
You are going to need to look at raising your level of self-esteem and contentment to make life better for you as a person, and the person who you are involved with. Happiness, true happiness comes from within, not from external sources.

A self-content individual is more fun to be with then one who has a void in their life. No one can fill your space, it’s on you to take the move and figure out what is missing in your life.

Ask these questions of yourself:

  • How can I be happy with whatever circumstances I am involved in?
  • How can I enlarge my dimension of thoughts to be not self-centred around my own needs and also include other people’s benefit in my thoughts and deeds?

When you can answer these questions and action those answers you will find yourself living with self-esteem and confidence – these are the core traits of the unneedy.

Twelve clingy girlfriend signs that you might not recognize – but probably should

the clingy girlfriendThe appearance of the demanding girlfriend being in control of the relationship is one which is common and at times even funny when we are watching on TV or at the movies. For instance, take a look at the viral American sitcom, “Everyone Loves Raymond” –Raymond is ever at risk of getting into problems with his wife.

However, being stuck in a relationship with a dramatic, trying, clingy girlfriend can be anything but funny.

Below is a list of a clingy girlfriend signs which may point to the possiblilty that you are in an unhealthy relationship with your girlfriend:

  1. You have to allow her know where you are whether during the day time or at night
  2. You must be in constant contact with her during the day, it doesn’t matter whether you are at work or out with friends
  3. You are forbidden from having platonic female pals
  4. She holds it against your family – when they take up your time
  5. You might have of late realized that she checks on your emails, online history ,social media sites including twitter,googleplus,facebook,badoo,Myspace , twoo among others
  6. She can seem to be full of hatred – this is in extreme cases
  7. She cannot easily let things go
  8. When a problem arises, she keeps on talking about it for several hours
  9. She suspects you of cheating on her with other women, probably after you have done something else something wrong
  10. She doesn’t allow you to give your opinion and will “freak out” when you disagree
  11. Your pals tell you that you should not tolerate her clingy, controlling habit
  12. Anytime you ask her to break up, she threatens to hurt herself

When you feel stuck in such a relationship ,you may be faced with conflicting feelings, on one hand you love your girlfriend and would like to please her: on the other hand ,you might have a sense that you do not need this kind of life . You might feel that your girlfriend is a barrier to a potentially better life.

clingy 1

It is your duty here to carefully weigh your options. The grass can often look greener on the other side of the fence and many guys dump their girlfriends,blaming them for every mistake ( whether committed or not). However, after leaving, they notice that what was wreaking havoc on the relationship was not only their partners traits, but their own issues too.

With that being said, a lot of men would be better off by having the courage to abandon a clingy, demanding girlfriend.

What would you do?

First Date Tips For Needy Men

Well there is nothing worse that first date nerves for a needy man that is floundering along in single life. He sees his opportunity to find the next woman whom he can overwhelm with the more than adequate loving he has to share.

In an effort to save this poor man, and unsuspecting lady from a terrible and traumatic experience here are some quick tips for our needy friend to follow.

Before the date tips for the Needy Man

More is less – Don’t overwhelm the poor girl before you have even been on a date. Try to find a balance between acting interested and being aloof. Somewhere in the middle of the two is the sweet spot.

Make decisions – You are the man remember, make a suggestion of where to go and make it somewhere good. A woman does not want some wishy washy guy that doesn’t know where to take a lady.

On the Date Tips

Confidence – If you don’t feel confident at least try to pretend you are confident. Remember that perception is reality and no woman wants to be with a guy who is not confident. Trust me on that.

Pay the bill – I know in the modern world with equality between sexes and all that, disregard it all completely. Man up and pay for everything without question. Be firm about it.

After the Date

At the end of the date you can be in awkward territory, this is where you need to look to your intuition and the signals the girl is giving to you as to whether to try to ramp things up a notch, or cut your losses and get the hell out of there.

After date contact

– Listen to this, an absolutely key point that will help you. If you like the lady by all means send her a text and say how you enjoyed the date and would be great to catch up again some time. Thats it. Just one. You really need to grasp this concept and that means not following it up with another text saying did you get my first text. Instant strike out. Just send one and if she likes you, if she wants to see you again she will make sure it happens. Don’t be that guy that keeps texting and calling. Just don’t!

Well hopefully you are now armed with a few tips and tricks that will help you and aid your dating as a no longer needy man. Good luck and if you have any questions, or war stories to share please leave us a comment.

Do some women like needy men?

Our site over the last couple of years has continued to increase in traffic, this tells me that more and more people are heading online to find out more about the mystery that is the “Needy Man”. From the comments we recieve its not woman seeking a needy man, they are normally trying to figure out how to get rid of them!

I was at a friends for dinner last night, as the pork ribs grilled and we sipped away on our beer we were talking about the needymen.com website. My friend asked a very interesting question… Surely some women out there like needy men?

Although there is no doubt the world is full of interesting and different people my research in the past has shown me that this is not generally the case at all. There may be a handful of domineering women out there that want to rule and cast fear into the heart of a weak whining male however this is certainly not the norm.

My research (countless hours of reading surveys and articles) regarding these very issues shows that the majority of women tend to be looking for and being attracted to these top 5 core traits in a man.

      A man that doesn’t “need” them
      A mans man
      Someone that takes responsibility
      A provider of security and safety
      A leader

    No mention of emotional men that show their insecurities or act feminine. Thats what their girlfriends are for chaps. Man was not put on this earth to whine, cry and express their feelings.

    You don’t have to agree with this of course, and I am sure there are many exceptions however this is what we have found so far. We look forward to hearing your contributions.

Living with a Needy Person

If you are in the situation of living with a needy person you are in for an interesting time. The highs and lows of your daily life may be governed in some respects by the state of mind of the insecure person that you are living with.

It’s not all bad though, I think in some ways it is normal for a women to have some dependability upon a man. I would imagine that this goes back to caveman times when it was the job of the man to protect and take care of his family.

What’s not ok at all is for a man to be emotionally needy towards a women. Not in my opinion anyway, if you are in this situation then it’s probably not going to work out in a positive way unless the both of you enjoy living like that.

Women love a challenge that is a fact, and there is not much challenging about a whimpering shell of a man blubbering away on the sofa – that is not healthy for any couple or relationship.

So I guess its important to mention (as we have alluded to above) women can get away with quite a bit more needy type behaviour than your average fellow. Girls – don’t overdo it though believe it or not guys do enjoy a challenge at times as well!

We love hearing your war stories about needy behaviour and life living with a needy person so please share via a comment on this page!