The appearance of the demanding girlfriend being in control of the relationship is one which is common and at times even funny when we are watching on TV or at the movies. For instance, take a look at the viral American sitcom, “Everyone Loves Raymond” –Raymond is ever at risk of getting into problems with his wife.
However, being stuck in a relationship with a dramatic, trying, clingy girlfriend can be anything but funny.
Below is a list of a clingy girlfriend signs which may point to the possiblilty that you are in an unhealthy relationship with your girlfriend:
You have to allow her know where you are whether during the day time or at night
You must be in constant contact with her during the day, it doesn’t matter whether you are at work or out with friends
You are forbidden from having platonic female pals
She holds it against your family – when they take up your time
You might have of late realized that she checks on your emails, online history ,social media sites including twitter,googleplus,facebook,badoo,Myspace , twoo among others
She can seem to be full of hatred – this is in extreme cases
She cannot easily let things go
When a problem arises, she keeps on talking about it for several hours
She suspects you of cheating on her with other women, probably after you have done something else something wrong
She doesn’t allow you to give your opinion and will “freak out” when you disagree
Your pals tell you that you should not tolerate her clingy, controlling habit
Anytime you ask her to break up, she threatens to hurt herself
When you feel stuck in such a relationship ,you may be faced with conflicting feelings, on one hand you love your girlfriend and would like to please her: on the other hand ,you might have a sense that you do not need this kind of life . You might feel that your girlfriend is a barrier to a potentially better life.
It is your duty here to carefully weigh your options. The grass can often look greener on the other side of the fence and many guys dump their girlfriends,blaming them for every mistake ( whether committed or not). However, after leaving, they notice that what was wreaking havoc on the relationship was not only their partners traits, but their own issues too.
With that being said, a lot of men would be better off by having the courage to abandon a clingy, demanding girlfriend.
Well there is nothing worse that first date nerves for a needy man that is floundering along in single life. He sees his opportunity to find the next woman whom he can overwhelm with the more than adequate loving he has to share.
In an effort to save this poor man, and unsuspecting lady from a terrible and traumatic experience here are some quick tips for our needy friend to follow.
Before the date tips for the Needy Man
More is less – Don’t overwhelm the poor girl before you have even been on a date. Try to find a balance between acting interested and being aloof. Somewhere in the middle of the two is the sweet spot.
Make decisions – You are the man remember, make a suggestion of where to go and make it somewhere good. A woman does not want some wishy washy guy that doesn’t know where to take a lady.
On the Date Tips
Confidence – If you don’t feel confident at least try to pretend you are confident. Remember that perception is reality and no woman wants to be with a guy who is not confident. Trust me on that.
Pay the bill – I know in the modern world with equality between sexes and all that, disregard it all completely. Man up and pay for everything without question. Be firm about it.
After the Date
At the end of the date you can be in awkward territory, this is where you need to look to your intuition and the signals the girl is giving to you as to whether to try to ramp things up a notch, or cut your losses and get the hell out of there.
After date contact
– Listen to this, an absolutely key point that will help you. If you like the lady by all means send her a text and say how you enjoyed the date and would be great to catch up again some time. Thats it. Just one. You really need to grasp this concept and that means not following it up with another text saying did you get my first text. Instant strike out. Just send one and if she likes you, if she wants to see you again she will make sure it happens. Don’t be that guy that keeps texting and calling. Just don’t!
Well hopefully you are now armed with a few tips and tricks that will help you and aid your dating as a no longer needy man. Good luck and if you have any questions, or war stories to share please leave us a comment.
Our site over the last couple of years has continued to increase in traffic, this tells me that more and more people are heading online to find out more about the mystery that is the “Needy Man”. From the comments we recieve its not woman seeking a needy man, they are normally trying to figure out how to get rid of them!
I was at a friends for dinner last night, as the pork ribs grilled and we sipped away on our beer we were talking about the needymen.com website. My friend asked a very interesting question… Surely some women out there like needy men?
Although there is no doubt the world is full of interesting and different people my research in the past has shown me that this is not generally the case at all. There may be a handful of domineering women out there that want to rule and cast fear into the heart of a weak whining male however this is certainly not the norm.
My research (countless hours of reading surveys and articles) regarding these very issues shows that the majority of women tend to be looking for and being attracted to these top 5 core traits in a man.
A man that doesn’t “need” them
A mans man
Someone that takes responsibility
A provider of security and safety
No mention of emotional men that show their insecurities or act feminine. Thats what their girlfriends are for chaps. Man was not put on this earth to whine, cry and express their feelings.
You don’t have to agree with this of course, and I am sure there are many exceptions however this is what we have found so far. We look forward to hearing your contributions.
If you are in the situation of living with a needy person you are in for an interesting time. The highs and lows of your daily life may be governed in some respects by the state of mind of the insecure person that you are living with.
It’s not all bad though, I think in some ways it is normal for a women to have some dependability upon a man. I would imagine that this goes back to caveman times when it was the job of the man to protect and take care of his family.
What’s not ok at all is for a man to be emotionally needy towards a women. Not in my opinion anyway, if you are in this situation then it’s probably not going to work out in a positive way unless the both of you enjoy living like that.
Women love a challenge that is a fact, and there is not much challenging about a whimpering shell of a man blubbering away on the sofa – that is not healthy for any couple or relationship.
So I guess its important to mention (as we have alluded to above) women can get away with quite a bit more needy type behaviour than your average fellow. Girls – don’t overdo it though believe it or not guys do enjoy a challenge at times as well!
We love hearing your war stories about needy behaviour and life living with a needy person so please share via a comment on this page!
Once you overcome your past neediness the world truely is your oyster. However what you need to realize is that now that you have overcome these issues there is a different life ahead that is waiting you.
The world awaiting you is one that you would have never imagined. Sometimes the very things you think you desire can be the things that haunt you for eternity!
Remember this, if you have ever pined for, yearned and been needy to someone of the opposite sex, this could also happen in reverse to you and you may find yourself on the other end of the neediness spectrum.
It is hard to know how to act, remember how it felt when you were that needy person? How should you now act that the tables are turned? Sometimes the more your exert your emotional strength and power the more needy you make that poor person as they struggle with insecurity and emotional weakness.
One thing is sure though, neediness and clinginess are very unattractive traits, so one can only hope that as time passes so will these feelings fade in your partner.
You know that it is possible to change, however does it take a different relationship to make that happen?
Not Needy huh? two easy words to describe yourself, but it doesn’t matter if you are male or female… the chances are if you are reading this you either are needy or know someone that is.
Neediness is like a sickness, or some say like being intoxicated. You may say things you regret the next day, you may treat people in a way that you know isn’t right, you probably are disgusted about the way you are thinking and acting, but don’t worry.. one thing is for sure you are certainly not alone!!!
The thing you are perhaps asking yourself is can you easily fix this, and you are in luck. Yes you can but it’s going to take some work and persistence from you. As well as a never say die attitude and willingness to change not only your behaviour but your life.
If you are a man I would suggest you start by reading this article – How to stop being needy. Its a pretty good quick fix-it for those guys that just need a short, sharp wake up call.
If you are still struggling to get to terms with things, here is a quick 5 step suggestion box on ways not to feel needy.
Confidence in yourself - Even if its not real or natural at first, at least pretend to be confident! Silence is key – Don’t text, don’t call and don’t email. If the other guy or girl wants to be with you or talk to you they will get in touch. Think before you talk – Similar to the last suggestion. Before you blurt out whatever is on your mind think about it and if it sounds anything even related to being needy just trash it. Weakness is not attractive – Not really a suggestion just something to keep in mind. Challenges, strength and confidence are the things that people find attractive. Not whining, whinging weakness. So remember that as you follow the path. Rome wasn’t built in a day – Good things take time, start by beginning to change your actions and your mindset. Continue to be strong, confident and good things will start to come your way believe me, but remember it does take time.
Please feel free to share your stories with us here at needmen.com, we are always ready to listen and to help!
The road to mastery is a tough one. If you have struggled in the past with neediness and after making changes in your life had some success unfortunately the toughest tests may still remain. It can be an epic battle of power vs need when situations arise that call upon that underlying needy behaviour to arise however, if you can stick to the basic principles learned in How to Deal with Woman, you will be able to get through these tough and trying times.
You may have even been going well for weeks or months and then are faced with a situation where you are tempted to speak up, or point something out that is part of your needy and insecure emotional make up.
Well unless you want to be back to square one DONT DO IT. Instead stick to your guns, portray the new man that you have become – Strong, secure, confident and in control – these are the things that a woman seeks, not a whimpering, pathetic, sobbing wreck of a human.
Once your new habits become the only way you act, you will behold a transformation that you will have to pinch yourself to believe. It all hinges on being able to control your emotions, let logic overpower feelings and stick to the new path that you have chosen to follow. The rewards will be fantastic as you regain control of your relationships and take a positive step forward in your life.
This video is great, talks through a number of common needy and insecure guy signs and tips.
Why you shouldnt ask a woman if she had a good night!
Be a bad boy without the lies and cheating!
How to challenge a woman, date a lot of people. ( Don’t keep calling her !!!!! VERY IMPORTANT )
Have a plan and stick to it
Don’t be to available.
It’s not rocket science, just simple tips and tricks that will help you not only appear to be the man you strive to be, but probably change your love life immensely!
Imagine you are a woman for a moment. I may be wrong but what I have found from experience is that woman like a man who is going to look after them, make them feel secure when they are frightened or worried. Reassure them if they are feeling emotional or upset.
Woman may sometimes act tough and pretend they don’t need this.. but get this guys deep down even if they don’t admit it that’s a big part of what they are looking for. Why do you think wealthy guys have no problems getting the ladies? Money = Security and peace of mind.
I am not saying every woman is like this, I am sure there are exceptions so only generalizing here and happy to hear any woman’s point of view.
OK now with that in mind lets take a look at the needy man.. whining and seeking reassurance. Constantly asking if everything is ok and lacking in confidence in themselves…. it becomes pretty easy to see why that’s not attractive to woman right..
So guys… it’s actually quite simple if you can just get a hold of yourself, act strong, be the man. One simple line.
Make your woman feel safe and secure.
If you don’t do that, then you are probably going to struggle to hold any kind of long term meaningful relationship.
Really interested to hear others point of view on this.. so please leave a comment if you have something to say.
Being a man has never been this difficult.. for those of us that dodge being needy there is also the urge to not be one of those “Whipped Men”.
If you find yourself running after the woman in your life to answer her every whim, and are the guy that won’t have a night out with his friends for fear of the wrath of “her that must be obeyed” then I am sorry to tell you… but you are Whipped!
Whipped men do everything the woman in their life tells them, keep her happy at all costs even if it makes them unhappy. Above all they have lost the balance of power and have become needy by ways of giving in to the stronger partner.
Every relationship should be on an even standing, if you find yourself explaining yourself and making excuses to your guy friends as to why you can’t hang out with them, you should watch this video!